March 2012 Newsletter (Marriage Contracts & Cheating – But NOT Together)

Roles In Marriage & Relationships

What kind of contract do you have with your partner?

“We don’t have a contract,” you say.

Well, I have to disagree with that. All marriages and/or relationships have an unwritten, often unspoken contract that you mutually agree to on a certain level.

Don’t believe me?

Let me give you an example. In the book When Smart People Fail
by Carole Hyatt and Linda Gottlieb, the authors explore the “contracts” people make when they are in love.

 

According to them each contract has two components: economic and emotional.

This is their sample of a traditional contract:

Man:” I will earn a good living for us [economic contract] and be strong at all times for you [emotional contract].”

Woman: “I will not work outside the home [economic contract], and I will be the mother to your children and supportive of your needs [emotional contract].”

That one doesn’t work for you? How about this one?

Man: “I am an artist and cannot be looked to for money [economic contract]; I agree to be volatile and exciting [emotional contract].”

Woman: “I will earn the income in this family [economic contract], and I will be emotionally steady so that you can be volatile [emotional contract].”

There are as many types of relationship contracts as their are people, but some are based on an equal partnerships while others emphasis one partner as being dominant in either economic or emotional parts (or sometimes both).

However, this does not imply that both parties are necessarily happy with the arrangement. In fact, people often “agree” to situations that later feel quite unhappy for them.

According to the book, relationships can usually survive if one part of the contract is broken. However, if both parts are broken, then severe troubles usually erupt. In many cases this leads to divorce.

So let’s say that a couple has the traditional relationship contract. The man is the rock. He is the financial and emotional provider for his wife. Then suddenly he loses his job, and worse, can’t find a new one.

His wife will most likely support him and help him through this struggle. But let’s say the man goes a very long time without finding new employment and then his emotional state starts to crumble.

His wife is left looking at this shell of a man wondering, “Where is the rock I married? Where has my security gone?”

Once these feelings start to seep into a relationship, it can really undermine the way both people feel about their roles in the relationship.

His sense of failure in compounded when he feels like he is failing his wife and family. She, in turn, feels like lots of responsibilities are piling up on her that she didn’t sign up for.

The loss of a job is not the only thing that can send a relationship reeling. Anything stressful life event can bring on a situation that threatens your comfortable roles.

So it is important to sit down with your partner and discuss your implied contract BEFORE hardships come your way (and they ALWAYS come, sooner or later).

Dig deep and really be honest about what is going on between the two of you. There is no wrong kind of contract. Whatever you both agree to is perfectly fine. The point is to know what to expect from each other and to make sure that both individuals are happy with their role.

The more prepared you are, the better you can weather any storm.

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On a Side Note…..

Did you know that two healthy individuals ALWAYS create a healthier relationship? One of the best things you can do for your marriage or relationship is to make yourself a better and happier person. It’s good for you and the one you love!

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I Cheated On My Partner. Should I Tell Them?

That is a huge question and it doesn’t have a clear cut answer.

Lots of factors come into play when making this type of decision. Religion, morals, and views of family and friends are just a few.

What it all comes down to is this: It’s your opinion.

I am all about honesty. And I don’t believe you should keep information from your partner (or cheat on them for that matter).

However, I believe there’s a huge difference between telling the truth because it’s the right thing to do and telling the truth to make yourself feel better.

If you are clearing the air just to make yourself feel better, then you are trading your misery for theirs. Do you really want to do that to the one you love?

Also, there’s a difference between individuals who make a one time mistake and those who are serial cheaters.

If you made a one time mistake, especially if it was in the distance past (and your relationship is good now) it might be a selfish move on your part if you spill your secrets now. This is even more true if there are children involved.

For example, I know a couple who were married for many years when she confessed an affair with his brother early into their marriage.

I always wondered what her motives were at that point. It was so many years in the past and it affected the whole family.

I know some people will not agree with my perspective on this, and that’s okay.

The point I am getting at here is this: Always examine your motives and do what’s best for everyone involved.

And don’t forget the love angle. It’s all about the love.

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Thanks a bunch!

by Angela Christian Pope @ ModernRelationship.org

PanOxyl Reviews (PanOxyl Acne Foaming Wash Or Bar)

PanOxyl Reviews (PanOxyl Acne Foaming Wash Or Bar)

PanOxyl Reviews

PanOxyl Acne Foaming Wash is an acne treatment I came across while looking for a way to purchase ProActiv body wash without buying the whole system. I have finally outgrown most of my facial acne problems (but it took long enough!). However, I still have issues on my chest and back.

Now, I know I could just use Retin-A, but that gets expensive, messy and it’s difficult to reach and cover your whole back.

When I came across this product I saw some PanOxyl reviews claiming it so strong that they couldn’t use it everyday.

I immediately thought this was the product for me! Having been cursed with extremely oily skin, I discovered long ago that drying my skin out was my best defense.

My Experience

This product comes in a Foaming Wash and a Bar. I chose to try the foaming wash. Now, over the past few years my skin has actually become non-oily during the winter months. I was highly relieved since it looked as though there WAS hope for my skin after all.  But alas, we had a very mild winter this year and my skin never NEVER stopped being oily and NEVER stopped breaking out.

The reason I tell you all this because my skin has excessive qualities.

Because this wash is supposed to really dry your skin, I set aside one applicator to use only with it. The smell is very mild and not unpleasant. My usual routine is to wash first with regular soap, then wash my hair. After applying conditioner I use a large clip to secure my hair on top of my head, then I use my applicator to apply the PanOxyl over my chest, arms, and back. (The product label states that the product should not come into contact with our hair because it can bleach it.)

I then stand in the shower and wait for both products to work. I usually leave both on a little longer than it says, usually about three minutes. Then I rinse the soap off before letting my hair down and rinsing it.

Does It Work?

It doesn’t work for me. Some people swear by it, but for me – it just doesn’t clear up my skin. I have even tried lathering up twice in a row with it, but still no results.

I will not purchase this product again because I can get the same results with regular soap (which is basically NO results).

This was MY experience, and everyone’s skin is different. Your experience could be totally different.

(By the way, you can purchase this product at most Wal-Mart locations.)

I also recommend Beauty & The Feast, an overall guide to make you healthier and more beautiful. Created by two nutritionists, it is the ultimate beauty tool. (It also come with a 60 day money back guarantee and the following five bonuses): Beauty And The Feast

 

  • 10 Commandments Of Health
  • Pick Of Pamper Potions
  • Facial Yoga Video Series
  • Weekly Nutritional e-Guide
  • Personal Dietary Analysis

Stay Beautiful – Inside and Out!

If your experience has been different (or even the same), please leave feedback.

Buy PanOxyl Acne Foaming Wash From Amazon

(Also, if this review has been helpful to you, please click the “like” button and help a girl out!)

Flexitol Heel Balm Reviews

Flexitol Heel Balm ReviewsFlexitol Heel Balm Reviews

Flexitol Heel Balm is a product that contains synthetic urea (not the kind in your urine), which is known to hydrate skin and eat away dead skin cells.

If you are like me, then you will try just about anything to get soft, crack-free feet. I have tried lots of products over the years and recently I added this product to my arsenal.

I find most of these products to work okay, but not great. Apparently, I was cursed by my genes because worse than normal cracked heel seem to run in my family. (Thanks, Mom!) So I am fairly sure I will be keeping these companies in business for the rest of my life.

But I digress……the directions state you should use this product twice a day until you get the desired results, then use it as needed to maintain your skin.

Most Flexitol Heel Balm Reviews are only trying to sell you the product. But this is my true and honest review of the product.

My Experience

I purchased this product along with Kerasal One Step Exfoliating Moisturizer Therapy, but I decided to try Flexitol Heel Balm first.

My first thought about this product was the smell! I found it to smell really, really bad. However, seeing as how it goes on your feet, you don’t really have to smell it that much. Once I rubbed it in I forgot about it. At night I also put socks on, which helped mask the smell.

Was it effective? Actually, yes, it was. I used a pumice stone to remove all the rough skin that I could. However, there was still some rough skin visable (you can only go so deep with a file or stone before you hit healthy skin and cause pain). After using this lotion for about a week there was absolutely NO dry skin on my feet.

Also, you know how even when you take the rough skin off your feet you still have the “crack” lines on your heels (even if they are not rough anymore)? Well, after about a ten days those “cracks” were gone. You could still see little lines (like the other lines on the bottom of my feet), but that was all.

So, here’s my final analysis. I DO like this product. However, I had some little places on my feet that turned out to be corns. And while I WOULD purchase this product again if I couldn’t find something better, Kerasal One Step Exfoliating Moisturizer Therapy actually dissolved the corns AND it smelled better.

But if you are one of those girls who prefers a lotion to an ointment, you might be happier with Flexitol.

This was MY experience, and everyone’s skin is different. Your experience could be totally different.

Buy Flexitol Heel Balm From Amazon

I also recommend Beauty & The Feast, an overall guide to make you healthier and more beautiful. Created by two nutritionists, it is the ultimate beauty tool. (It also come with a 60 day money back guarantee and the following five bonuses): Beauty And The Feast

 

  • 10 Commandments Of Health
  • Pick Of Pamper Potions
  • Facial Yoga Video Series
  • Weekly Nutritional e-Guide
  • Personal Dietary Analysis

Stay Beautiful – Inside and Out!

If your experience has been different (or even the same), please leave feedback.

(Also, if this review has been helpful to you, please click the “like” button and help a girl out!)

 

Relax-A-Line Review (a.k.a. Topical Botox)

Relax-A-Line is a topical solution sold by a company called Cellular Skin Rx. I stumbled on some information about this product while searching in a forum for information on another product I wanted to try. (And I was hooked. Who doesn’t want the fountain of youth in a bottle?)

It contains Acetyl Hexapedtide 3, which is supposed to relax the muscles that allow wrinkles to form on your face. It is a topical form of Botox more or less. (By the way, while I was researching this I learned that a REAL Botox topical solution is in the works!!!)

I was intrigued to say the least, but when I saw that I could try this wonderful topical solution for only $24.00 I was in! On their website I saw that Ultra  Relax-A-Line was also available for $44.00.

I decided to try the regular strength first, just to see if it made any difference at all. My thought was this: If it does anything, then I will order the stronger version. However, if it does nothing at all, then I will not be out a lot of money.

My Experience

Imagine my excitement when I opened the box and found a sample of Ultra Relax-A-Line inside! And it wasn’t just a one time application, either. It was a little bottle that contained 5ml.

I started out using the regular strength first. The website states you should see a difference in 30 days, so I used the serum diligently twice a day. I found that less was more, since using too much actually made it dry too thick and peel off.

(I also read another review somewhere and the girl said she started massaging the serum in more and that made it start working more for her, so I started spending more time rubbing it in.)

The main areas I was treating were:

  • between eyebrows
  • creases on forehead
  • parenthesis (lines between nose and mouth when you smile)

After a month of continual use it was clear I was getting no results at all. However, I stayed at it for another month. Still no results. I switched over to Ultra Relax-A-Line and stayed with it for three weeks…..total disappointment.

This product also contains hyaluronic acid, which is supposed to be another miracle ingredient for anti aging. It naturally exists in our bodies, but used as a beauty aid it is supposed to help with skin elasticity. However, this ingredient made no impact on my skin, either.

I must say that I could see no benefits to my skin from using this product. However, every person is different and some people have left reviews in various places claiming to see positive results.

This was MY experience, and everyone’s skin is different. Your experience could be totally different.

Buy Relax-A-Line From Cellular Skin Rx

I also recommend Beauty & The Feast, an overall guide to make you healthier and more beautiful. Created by two nutritionists, it is the ultimate beauty tool. (It also come with a 60 day money back guarantee and the following five bonuses:Beauty And The Feast

 

  • 10 Commandments Of Health
  • Pick Of Pamper Potions
  • Facial Yoga Video Series
  • Weekly Nutritional e-Guide
  • Personal Dietary Analysis

 

Stay Beautiful – Inside and Out!

If your experience has been different (or even the same), please leave feedback.

(Also, if this review has been helpful to you, please click the “like” button and help a girl out!)

 

 

Kerasal Reviews (Kerasal One Step Exfoliating Moisturizer Therapy)

Kerasal ReviewsKerasal Reviews

Kerasal One Step Exfoliating Moisturizer Therapy is an ointment used to get rid of those scaly lizard heels. You know, the ones that make a noise when they stick to your carpet as you walk through the house? Yes, those. Not that any of us girls would ever have anything so “un-lady-like” as that……

Anyway, I have tried SO many products that were supposed to eradicate those horrible abnormalities. Left to their own devices, my feet can crack to the point of pain. (Those are some deep, red-looking cracks!)

Finally, I decided to try Kerasal. I didn’t have much faith that it would work, but it seems that more products actually do what they advertise these days so I gave it a try.

According to the packaging this product:

  • Gently exfoliates, moisturizes & softens feet
  • Softens calluses
  • Repairs cracked heels
  • Supplies moisture to new cell layers
  • Show benefits in a little as seven days

My Experience

When I opened the box I was a little surprised at the size of it. Honestly, the tube of Kerasal is not very large for the money (one ounce). It has very little smell (which I like), and is very thick and concentrated.

I first used a pumice to remove most of the dry skin from my feet, took a shower, dried my feet completely, then applied the ointment. I wore socks to bed that night as recommended by manufacturer.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised. Not only did it soften my feet, but the cracks on my heels completely disappeared by the sixth day. But here is another added benefit. I had been to the doctor for something that turned out to be corns (can you imagine?) on the bottom of my feet. Amazingly, after I used this ointment for a couple of weeks, they were almost completely gone!

I had tried to doctor those places with traditional treatments, but had no luck. And I didn’t want to go to the podiatrist as my physician had suggested. So I was completely thrilled!

I now keep this stuff in my nightstand and use it religiously. I have found that if I skip a night there are no adverse effects. However, if I go three days or more my feet start to look bad again.

This has been MY experience, but every person has a body that can respond differently to things.

Buy Kerasal One Step Exfoliating Moisturizer Therapy From Amazon

Stay Beautiful – Inside and Out!

If your experience has been different (or even the same), please leave feedback.

(Also, if this review has been helpful to you, please click the “like” button and help a girl out!)