Getting back together can sometimes be a difficult thing to do. There can be all kinds of things standing in your way such as resentment, lack of trust, and every other kind of “baggage” that you can think of.
However, couples often work through their problems and go on to live very happy lives together. It happens every day.
But here’s the catch. You MUST know what you are doing. Building a good relationship is like building a a huge house. You need a good plan or blueprint.
And a good plan or blueprint will not only build a solid relationship, but it will ensure that it weathers any storm that life can throw at it.
What am I talking about here? Intimacy. (Guys don’t roll your eyes, stay with me here.)
Many couples never get to the point of true intimacy. I am not even talking about sex here, although that is a part of it. However, the deeper your level of intimacy, the harder it is for you to grow apart and break up.
Makes sense, right?
So, what you need is a bond that cannot be broken.
“But Angela,” you say, “we have already broken up, so what’s this got to do with me?”
I’m so happy you asked.
Break ups are almost never the fault of only one person.
Let me say that again…..
Break ups are almost NEVER the fault of only one person.
So at this point you want to stop and examine your relationship from a neutral perspective, as an innocent bystander if you will.
Look yourself over and see what you could have done better. Admit to your faults and character flaws. (No one has ever actually died from doing this, I promise.)
Congratulations! You have just taken the first step toward getting your love back!
Sometimes Love Is Just NOT Enough
It doesn’t matter how much two people love each other if they can’t work through their issues. Period.
Love does not exist in a vacuum, so life often gets in the way of your plans. So you need to decide right now:
Is this person worth the time and effort of getting back and keeping?
You MUST be committed in order to make it work. You must be honest with yourself and your partner because this WILL take some work. Keeping a relationship or marriage going ALWAYS takes work. But anything worth having is worth working for, right?
Where To Start?
The best way to approach your partner about getting back together is showing him or her that you already have a well thought out plan. This proves to them that you are serious and willing to put some work into the process.
Saying “I’m sorry” is a good start, but there’s usually a lot more to be done than just that. You need a road map to bring back the warm and fuzzy feelings the two of you once shared. Don’t know how to do that? Then read on.
You need a starting point for negotiations in your new relationship. And, yes, I do mean your “new” relationship, because your old one was not working, right?. The two of you new need to reestablish your “new” relationship with different goals and boundaries.
However, if you prefer to cut through all this and get a immediate plan that you can put into action this very minute, then I have hand picked some options for you below. I only recommend resources from people that I trust, so you can feel confident if you decide to use one of the following:
The first two resources are specific to either men or women and were written by Michael Webb as seen on the Oprah Winfrey Show and many other media outlets.
This last resource is quirky, but effective and has been on the market for some time. It is unconventional, but it works by directly utilizing what we know about human nature. It is a top seller in the industry because it works. This one has a cute little video to give you an idea of how it works. Take the time to watch it, but remember what I said. It is a quirky little resource, but it GETS RESULTS.
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Thanks a bunch!
by Angela Christian Pope @ ModernRelationship.org