It’s time to talk about those amazing guys! Contrary to common misconceptions, they are good for much more than just killing spiders and changing light bulbs! In fact, we really couldn’t get along very well without them. Well, we could……but why would we want to?
They have many wonderful traits that I believe don’t get celebrated often enough. They smell nice and manly, they protect us when danger is lurking near, and deep down most of them are really big teddy bears. We get to see that soft underbelly they hide from everyone else. Now, just how sexy is that?
Being your guy’s Number One girl has a lot of advantages, so you want to make sure you give back to the relationship. The first step in doing this is to truly understand what makes your guy tick. With this in mind, I came up with this little cheat sheet of sorts.
So, there are only two things that guys need to be happy in life (besides love, of course). I can imagine the things that are probably coming to your mind right now, and you are probably right about at least one of them. So here they are:
These are not in a rated order – this is just a list.
Men are so uncomplicated compared to us, huh? So let’s look at each of these.
A guy friend told me recently that all guys spend their entire lives asking themselves, “Am I good enough?” They are always sizing themselves up compared to other guys. Are they providing well enough for their family? Are they making their spouse happy? Are they performing well at work? It’s a great big peeing contest for them. But it is wired into them at birth. I think it has something to do with the Y chromosome.
What all this boils down to is respect. Men need others to look up to them and admire them. They need to feel like they definitely are good enough, better than good enough is preferable. A certain feeling of power also ties in with the respect. But ultimately, he wants to be your hero. If you have kids, then he wants to be their hero too.
With this being said, berating your guy is about the worst thing you can do to him. (In some cases it is worse than withholding sex.) When you do this you tear down his self-worth, and then his feeling of being respected starts to erode. Who he is as a person begins to feel threatened.
So here are some rules to help you avoid this pitfall.
- Never resort to name calling when you have a disagreement.
- Don’t use the phrase “you always” or “you never” during a disagreement
- Never say negative things about him in front of others (especially your kids)
- Complement his abilities at least once a day
We all need it, but it often seems that guys need it way more than girls. Well, that’s because in most cases they do. It’s another one of those biological things. Their libido generally runs way higher than most females. And here’s the other thing: Guys equate intimacy with sex. We girls usually equate intimacy with everything else – which gets us in the mood for sex. They are the exact opposite. In my opinion, this proves God really does have a sense of humor!
Now, guys can get down right ornery when they do not get their sexual appetite fed. This is because they can sometimes have the misconception that we are being the bad guys. They see us as holding the thing they need (yes, NEED) and we are dangling it over their heads like a carrot. Stress and tiredness doesn’t normally affect their mood for sex, so it’s difficult for them to understand how it works for us.
I have two things to say about this.
First, sex should be fun and adventurous. Feel free to experiment and engage in healthy, happy practices. It’s okay to try new things with the man you love. However, you should never do anything that feels degrading or wrong to you. There’s a nice balance somewhere in between.
Second, do not ever, ever use sex as a weapon. That just leads to all kinds of problems both in the bedroom and out. Don’t take something that should be magical and turn it into something to argue about.
So there you have it – the recipe for keeping your guy happy. If you really want to put this information into action, start off with 30 Days of Gratitude. His head and chest will swell so big that he won’t be able to fit through your front door!