Using psychological tricks to get your ex girlfriend back is possible, and you can still have a clear conscious. You are probably wondering how you could trick her and still feel okay about it, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.
First of all, everyone uses psychological tricks on other people on a daily basis. Most people just do not realize it. As humans we are always sizing other people up, trying to find the best way to approach them for things we need and want in life. (Ever asked your boss for a raise?) Then we plan our attack (although it may be subconsciously) and finally, we take action.
We also do the same things in relationships, so what’s so bad about doing it consciously for once? Here are some things you can do that will make her stop and think before she cuts all ties with you.
1. Make Yourself As Desirable As Possible
If you are dealing with a break up, then the new has probably worn off your relationship and she may be looking for something that’s new and interesting to her. You may appear uninteresting to her right now if she has already set her course and started looking in another direction.
Having a list of psychological tricks to get your ex girlfriend back makes you prepared, not evil or manipulative.
Make yourself look just as desirable as every other guy out there. It is easier than you think. Think about it – people always want what they can’t have, right? So you want stop begging her to take you back (if you have been doing that) and suddenly get very busy.
Now, I’m not saying all guys are slobs, because I know they are not. However, there are more guys out there who ignore their appearance than there are sharp dressed men. You want your girl to look good for you, right? Well, she likes the same thing. She wants a guy she can be proud of and show off. So take a good look at yourself and see where you can make some improvements. (Hint: Get a new haircut and buy some new stylish clothes.) Even if she doesn’t take you back you will now feel better about yourself and be ready to reenter the dating scene.
(If you are already a stylish guy, then I apologize to you for that lecture.)
Next, go out with friends, take up new hobbies, do all the things you have always dreamed of doing. Buy the motorcycle you want, go skydiving, take those guitar lessons. Do anything that interests you. You will suddenly look extremely interesting to her – and other females (and she will know this).
Don’t always be home if she drops by your house. If she calls you, let the call go to voice mail and don’t call her back immediately. Let her wonder what you are doing. This step alone can make a huge impact if she still has feelings for you because she will start wondering if you are suddenly over her. Thinking about you pursuing another female may be enough to change her feelings about the break up. (When initiating a break up, people frequently fail to factor in how they will feel when their ex is uninterested in them and turns their interest toward other people. It often feels worse than they anticipated.)
Even if this step doesn’t get her back immediately, it will take your mind off things for a while. That alone will be therapeutic.
2. Don’t Be Her Whipping Boy
Where to start? Do not take any type of abuse off her just because you want her back so badly. If she refuses to take you back or even talk about your issues, don’t wash her car, run her errands, house sit her pets while she goes on vacation without you, etc. (I know a guy who used to wash his “girlfriend’s” car so she could go out with other people.)
This tactic simply DOES NOT work. I know so many guys with the mentality that “if I do enough for her she will realize how much I love her”. But this is not what she sees from her perspective. In fact, she sees that you have no self-respect or boundaries and you will be her doormat.
Now, how can you be her rock if you are such a pushover?
GIRLS DO NOT WANT A GUY THEY CANNOT RESPECT!
Sorry I yelled that at you, but I cannot possibly make that bold enough. Being a doormat never, ever works in the long run. She may loosely keep you around to do things for her, but you have already lost your standing as her equal and things can only go downhill.
Does this mean you cannot do anything at all for her? Of course not. Just use common sense. If she is sick and needs you to pick up her medicine at the pharmacy, you should do so. Things like that are fine, just don’t overdo it.
One last note – don’t have any type of sexual contact with her at this point. This is another way of giving in to her. Don’t allow her to think that you want contact with her so badly that you will be intimate even with no investment on her part. Withholding intimacy will make you look “hard to get”. She may even wonder why you are holding back, which may trigger more doubt on her part.
3. State Your Case Clearly
When she is ready to talk about your issues, be as honest as you can possibly be. This is the time to get everything out in the open on both sides. Make an agreement before you begin that both of you will be completely honest about what you want and need. This is the only way to have a happy, healthy relationship.
For example, if you don’t like her talking to your best friend when he’s around, then tell her that. Then tell her why. This may lead to you examining things that you have going on personally. Do you distrust her? If so, why?
(In fact, you should always tell your partner why you dislike anything. Don’t just make a list of things she does that you hate. Tell her why you don’t like them in a gentle, kind voice and you will get a lot more understanding from her.)
Do you hate her cooking? Now is the time to tell her, but do it gently. If you need something to get you going, use the 10/10 list. This is a simple little tool that works wonders for relationships. First, take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, making two columns.
Number each of the two columns to ten. At the top of one column write “Top Ten Things I Love About My Girlfriend” then title the other column “Top Ten Things About My Girlfriend That Drive Me Crazy”.
Have her do the same for you. Now, simply fill the sheet out. You will learn things about each other that you never knew and the “good” side will take the sting out of the “bad” side.
4. Listen, Listen, Listen
The number one reason that girls want out of a relationship is because their guys do not listen to them. Did you get that? Girls want time and attention. There is nothing better you can give them than yourself.
We hate it when we tell you a long story and then find that you were not even listening. It is a huge slap in the face to us. It says ” he doesn’t value me or think I am important”.
So when you get to the point that she wants to sit down and talk to you, then you need to use that time wisely. Make her understand that she has your undivided attention. Turn off the television, radio, computer, and cell phone. Don’t interrupt her. Let her get it all out. Then ask questions to clarify points as needed. Then state your case. You will be amazed at how much progress you can make in just one sitting.
See? Using a little psychology on your girl is really not a bad thing. Now, go get her back!
Want an exact plan of action for getting your girl back when all else fails? Check out the two options below.
Remember, your relationship is worth the extra effort!
Learn more about how to Get Your Girlfriend Back With These Psychological Tricks with The Magic of Making Up and turn circumstances in your favor.
Another option that was written by renowned relationship author Michael Webb (as seen on the Oprah Winfrey Show and many other media outlets) is called Getting Her Back For Good.
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by Angela Christian Pope a.k.a. Angela Monahan @ ModernRelationship.org