My husband and I always notice how most dog owners are friendly, outgoing people. It is quite unusual (at least in our part of the country) to see anyone walking a dog who doesn’t have pleasant demeanor and a kind word for anyone passing by.
Our theory is that dog owners:
- Are drawn to the fun loving attributes of dogs because they exhibit those traits themselves.
- Are less stressed because dogs provide stress relief in their lives by way of closeness and silliness.
The same goes for minimalists.
Well, not exactly…..but sort of.
Minimalist are also friendly, outgoing people. And it is also for similar reasons to dog lovers. In fact, minimalist often ARE dog lovers.
Stay with me here…..I’m going somewhere with this……I promise.
You see, being a minimalist allows you to strip away all the things in your life that are not important. And believe me, there are lots more unimportant things in our lives than most of us realize.
When you get rid of the things that are not important and only the good things remain, then you will become a more relaxed, happier person. Your joy will begin to overflow. Then the most amazing thing will happen. You will suddenly be super nice to everyone around you…..even complete strangers!
So you really shouldn’t ask why you must be kind to be a minimalist, but rather, how can you be a minimalist and not be kind?
As for dogs, as a semi minimalist (I’m still working on it) I find that a dog (or in my case 2) are essential to my happiness. When I strip everything away, my fur babies are on my top ten list of things that make me happy. They are a part of our family, and they bring joy to everyone in our home. (It’s like having two more kids that you don’t have to start college funds for.)
Besides, I truly believe that way deep down, even the meanest, nastiest person really wants to be kind to other people. When we take away all the clutter and see our lives clearly, then love and kindness stand above all else.
And, really, nothing else truly matters.
I’m going to warn you now. Some of you will find this sexist. It will make some of you very angry.
That’s okay. I don’t mind. Because I am angry.
You are entitled to your opinion. Just like I am entitled to mine.
Here’s a little story:
Many, many years ago, on what seemed like another planet, there lived these families that were very different from ours. The men went off to work every day and provided for the families, while the women took care of the homes and children. Everyone had clearly defined roles. The end.
Now, I think everyone can agree that the above story is completely true. It is not skewed in any way. However, some people will interpret that story as good, while some will interpret it as evil.
Why is that?
This is a story about how feminism ruined women’s lives.
Historically speaking, women have been dependent on men for security in almost every way – including physically and financially. Now, if you were married to a man who held you in high regard and treated you well, then you had it made. He listened to your opinions, took care of all your needs, and your life was quite pampered.
However, if you did not marry well, or became stuck in a bad situation, then, admittedly, things did not go well for you. And in a time when divorce was quite taboo.
But, things were about to change….
So along came the women who called for equal rights. And who can blame them? Some women were in bad situations and had no recourse for making them right.
HOWEVER, things are taken just a little too far.
Some women went to work. Then more women. Then even more. Pretty soon more women were working than those staying home.The prices of household items started going up to accommodate these new two income households. So did cars and houses. Pretty soon everything cost more.
Over time the standard of middle class living could not be sustained without both parents working. (What about those women who didn’t want to work?) This lead to generations of children being raised by day care centers (which is not natural) and latch key kids (also not natural).
By the way, notice when the youth suddenly became so rude and riddled with behavioral problems? Doesn’t take a rocket scientist the figure it out.
Divorce rates went up. (I realize women could now leave mean husbands, but it was also super easy not to try to work it out.) Families started falling apart.
Mom was no longer that warm, loving person who gives you homemade cookies and talks to you about your day after school. She’s a busy, tired working person, just like Dad, who barely has time for you.
If fact, there’s little difference between Mom and Dad now. There are no defined roles. They both cook and clean (what little of it that ever gets done). They both pay bills, go to the store, cut the grass, dress practically the same…
There’s hardly any evidence Mom is even a girl…….
Oh, yeah…..she does still wear a LITTLE make up. (Remember when Moms were really pretty?)
The Work Is Never Done
Back To No Defined Roles…….
Since no one has defined roles, no one is ever done with their work. Men can’t say, “I worked all day and now I can’t sit and read the paper.” Nope! There’s still homework to check and baths for the kids and dinner to fix and the kitchen to clean, etc. And the same goes for Mom. It doesn’t matter that she worked all day like Dad. She still has to help do all those things too.
You see, she traded in one prison (having to stay home and work) for another prison (having to leave the house to work and STILL having to come back home to do more work).
All we did was DOUBLE our work load!
And women who want to stay home with their children usually can’t now because of our two working adult economy! (Newsflash: some women – and men – still value the benefits of a stay at home wife and mother.)
Before we couldn’t work, now we can’t stay home with our children! We traded one thing we couldn’t do for another!
I realize that the old system was bad for the minority of women who lived in bad circumstances, but you will never find a system that works for everyone when you are looking at a large group of people. There will always be a minority that it doesn’t work out for. I know it doesn’t seem to be the American way, but the outcome should rest with the majority, not the minority. Things should always benefit the most people possible.
And anyone who ever said it was less than desirable to create a warm, comfortable home and raise children to be upstanding human beings is a complete fool. There’s not a more important job on the planet.
The Financials of Feminism
We have already covered how women almost have to work in most instances now in order to live the standard middle class lifestyle.
But let’s talk about how unhappy everyone is. Doctors are prescribing more antidepressants than ever and people are in more debt than ever before. Why?
Because people are filling the void of unhappiness with stuff. The spend money to get the temporary feeling of happiness, when, really, the thing they need is more down time together as a family. If one parent stopped working and stayed home the pace of life would slow down and everyone in that home would be happier.
When both parents went to work things went haywire.
So here is what feminism has accomplished:
- All mom’s weekday work has to be done on the weekend
- Houses are dirty
- Children are rude & unruly
- Children are raised by other people
- Mothers feel guilty about neglecting children
- Parents are overworked and stressed
- Parents have no couple time
- Divorce rates are up
- People are generally unhappy
- People are in debt to try to fill the void
- Women don’t have time to look like women
(feel free to add to this list)
Life before feminism was not perfect, but neither is this.
This is going to be short and sweet.
Having memories will always be better than having stuff. Always.
Over the years people have decided to rebel against the so called “American Dream” and define their lives with a new set of values. The Great Recession, as it is now labeled, has become a driving force for this.
The Millennials have one thing in common with survivors of the Holocaust. They have figured out that some things can’t be taken away from you.
Holocaust survivors learned that possessions could be taken away, but educations and vocations for individuals, such as doctors, lawyers, and scientists, couldn’t be taken away. This is why so many of these survivors encouraged their children and grandchildren to educate themselves in this way so they could always have a certain level of security in their future no matter what might come. (They could always go somewhere new and start over. They sort of carried their security with them, so to speak.)
Fast forward a few decades and a different generation has learned a similar lesson although from entirely less traumatic circumstances.
Houses can be foreclosed on and vehicles can be repossessed, but experiences can never be taken away from you.
Just think on that one for a moment.
I know lots of people right now who wish they had spent their money on dream family vacations instead of over sized houses that were repossessed during the financial crises. Or luxury cars. Or boats, Or expensive jewelry. Or designer clothes. Or ______________. (You fill in the blank.)
Now, instead of having lovely family vacation memories, all they have are regrets over bad choices and digging out of a financial hole.
So buy a nice house that suits your needs, not your wants. Buy a a good, dependable car (if you live where you need one). Take care of your basic needs and make yourself happy. Having memories is better than having stuff.
Don’t do anything to impress anybody. Only do things to make yourself and your family happy.
Then go have some experiences and make some memories.