The power we have over our own lives is monumental, even though it doesn’t always feel that way.
Humans are intelligent beings with big brains that can either help or hinder us, depending on how we use them. Everything depends on our attitudes and thoughts.
One element that has been present in abundance for EVERY highly successful person I know is gratitude. Let me explain….
If you have mostly positive thoughts and attitudes, then you will have positive, happy lives. If you need evidence of that being true, just look around you at the happy people you know. People often assume that in order for a person to be happy they must first have happy circumstances in their lives. However, I am a firm believer that it often works the other way around.
When we make the decision to be happy no matter what, then good and abundant things come to us.
Why does this happen?
There are several reasons why. Here are just a few:
- We take the pressure off ourselves so we finally relax.
- Happiness leads to confidence and positivity, which draws other people to us.
- When people are drawn to us, they want to help us.
- All of this leads to us reaching our goals in life, which leads to even more happiness.
It’s all that simple. There is no magic to it.
Practice gratitude for everything in your life on a daily basis. Write down five to 10 things you are thankful for every evening before bed. Or say these things out loud in the shower each morning. Do this multiple times each day if possible. Like most other things, gratitude is a habit that can be developed over time with practice.
I have a sheet that I recommend for both individuals and couples that will help you develop the habit of feeling grateful everyday.
It was originally developed for couples who wanted to be more appreciative of each other. However, you can use it to show gratitude for anything, not just your significant other.
I recommend using this sheet daily for 30 days to begin to see a difference in your overall joy. It can be used for one month or one year. It all depends on you.
😃Download 30 Days of Gratitude Sheet Here😃
By using gratitude you will actively eliminate negative thoughts because there simply isn’t any room for them in your brain.
In fact, I use this as an avoidance system. Any time I begin to have a negative thought, I consciously direct my thoughts to something I am grateful for. This redirects my thoughts and feelings EVERY SINGLE TIME.
This WILL work for you. Try it!
Each person has their own special vibration. It is the essence of you and everything that you are, so it can be negative, positive or somewhere in between.
Happy people generally have a positive vibration, and unhappy people have a more negative vibration. So obviously we should all strive to be on the positive side of things. However, that is not always as easy as it sounds, right?
Our happiness and health both depend on our ability to stay positive. There are several things that can affect us negatively. Here are a few of them:
- Reading too much news
- Watching negative movies or television shows
- Interacting too much on social media
However, one of the worst ones for me is dealing with negative people. It is difficult to stay in your positive mindset when people around you are constantly complaining about the weather, illnesses, politics, their spouses, their unruly children etc.
Now, the most obvious thing to do here is to avoid any person who is bringing negativity into your life. But we all know there are some people and some situations that cannot be avoided. Sometimes it is a coworker or a family member, for instance.
If fact, I have a family member who constantly complains about how awful it is to get older, how retirement is terrible, how miserable their health is, and generally how life is not worth living.
And I talk to this person almost daily.
Let me tell you, I find myself dreading the interactions because it always brings down my good mood. But I have learned a few things to help me cope with it.
LImit the Interactions
I allow myself one interaction with this person per day. This means that if they call me a second time on the same day, then I don’t answer the phone and call them back the next day. I also don’t speak with them on the phone if I have physically seen them that day.
Set a Time Limit
This person loves to drone on and on about the same problems everyday. They also like to revisit the same issues repeatedly in the same conversation. I have made it a habit to allow only so much time for this. For phone calls I will talk to them for no more than 20 minutes. For visits I limit the time to an hour and a half.
State Your Positive Purpose
I recently told this family member that I had decided to have a positive outlook and only say positive things. They readily agreed that was a good thing and stopped asking me to agree with their most recent negative statement. So far, I have had to remind them of this choice every time we have talked since, but they still respect it when I point it out.
Learn to Redirect
A negative person will always return to saying negative things. That must be some universal law or something. So inevitably, I must direct the family member back to being positive. One of their favorite sayings is, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. You know it?” My response to that is always, “I’m only saying positive things, remember?” I simply refuse to agree to any negative statements. Then I point out some positive things about the person’s life.
So far, this has worked. It has also helped direct our conversations in an overall better direction, because after that interaction, the family member doesn’t want to appear to be the “negative one” so they find lighter and happier things to talk about.
Now, I can tell you from experience that it doesn’t always work with everyone. I have another family member who never seems to cooperate with this strategy, so I just limit the interactions with them and go on about my day.
I’m sure there are other ways to deal with negative people, but these are the strategies that work for me. Never let anyone else (and anything else) affect your positive outlook. Protect your vibration and you protect your whole existence. This is part of How To Be Happy In Every Area of Your Life.
How to be successful in every area of your life – that is the big question. Some people appear to be born winners who naturally turn everything to gold with the slightest touch of their hand. Then there’s the rest of us, right?
You know how it’s said that every person has troubles in their life, we just don’t always see it? Well, that is completely true of every person on the planet. No one makes it through scratch-free.
But here is the truth of life: some people learn to overcome all of their obstacles in order to have a fabulous life. We have all seen people on the news who made a fortune, lost it all, but then made it all back again.
So why can some of us not make the fortune just once, we all ask.
It is simple. Those “lucky” people have leaned two things in life that the rest of us lack.
- Knowledge of what to do
- Discipline to actually do it
That sounds deceptively simple, but it is actually very hard to implement. How many of us have read a book, watched a podcast, or attended a seminar that was going to change our lives? We come away with all of this spectacular knowledge and we are FIRED UP!
But then what happens? We get up the next morning and the real world comes knocking, right? We have jobs and families and all the other responsibilities that come with being a functioning adult. Our goals and dreams seem to get sidelined and we put off things for another day until years or maybe even decades have passed and we are sitting stagnant in lives that aren’t quite what we planned for ourselves.
I, too, have been a victim of this scenario. And I have to say that another issue for me was jumping from one guru or motivational leader to another, while trying to implement everything each one promotes. While there are some overlapping things they all recommend (like mediation) things can really diverge from there and you are left with a list of self improvement tasks to do each day that goes on forever.
Then you get overwhelmed and give up.
What I didn’t truly realize until recently is that I was essentially getting a life coach. Everyone has heard of these, some of us have already tried one, and I have never heard anyone say they came away from the experience worse off.
This is why I am a proponent of finding one leader who resonates with you. While I especially love Bob Proctor and John Assaraf, I have decided to stick with Jack Canfield for the time being. I frequently watch his videos on Youtube (see them here) and use his meditations (buy them here).
However, in order to make all of his other information work you really must read this book first. It’s called The Success Principles: How To Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be. Think of this as the backbone of your plan, while the videos and meditations are the supplemental materials. You could live your whole life by this book and be successful every minute of every day. I have the 10th anniversary version of the book and read some amount of it every day, even if it’s just five minutes.
This might not be the path that works for you, but I encourage you to look around and find the life coach that does. Then stick with it until you see results. This is truly how to be successful in every area of your life.
You can do it!
Lately, I have been thinking a great deal about busy work. It seems our lives are filled with it these days. You might even say we are consumed by it.
What do I mean by busy work? Let me start by what it is NOT. Busy work is not the repetitive things we do in life that are necessary or make our life better. For example, cleaning our home is not busy work because it is beneficial to our health to have a clean living space, not to mention the mental benefits of living in a comfortable, organized home.
Rather, busy work is comprised of the many thoughtless, meaningless activities that fill our lives and do not make our lives, or anyone else’s, better. This would include mounds of paperwork that are sometimes required in our jobs (some of that is just ridiculous), the endless meetings our bosses require us to attend, moving piles of “stuff” around our house because we can’t make the decision to part with them, or the countless hours spent on social media. (Yes, I count count social media as busy work because we are using up valuable hours of our lives that we will never get back again.)
I realize that we sometimes have little or no control over the demands of our jobs, but we can definitely exert more power over our personal lives. And, actually, we control our working environment more than we think. Maybe you could make some suggests for streamlining tasks or other improvements (you are probably not the only one who hates all the paperwork and meetings). Or maybe it is time to pursue a different job or start your own business.
It is beneficial to loosely plan your schedule for the day, then examine it to see if you are using your time wisely. If not, find ways to cut out the meaningless activities that offer your life no added value. When doing this, be sure to think about ways to simplify tasks in the future in order to spend more quality time with family and friends.
My sister in law has undergone a metamorphosis that has allowed her to downsize her life in many ways. Her house is smaller than some apartments I have lived in. She made the decision to downsize to this degree because she wanted to spend more time with her children and grandchildren instead of cleaning, organizing, and maintaining her home. Incidentally, her smaller home also came with a smaller lawn, which she now pays someone else to maintain. She simplified her life, and she also gave a nice young man some paying work. It’s a win/win situation.
I, too, have been working on the journey to freedom from busy work. It can be easier said than done in practical daily life, but here are a few things I have done around my home that simplified things tremendously.
- I bought this jewelry organizer that is so large it holds everything I own and also doubles as a pretty, full length mirror.
- I added this jewelry organizer to my dresser for the things I wear most days so I never need to hunt for them.
- I got some shoe organizers to get all of my shoes up off the floor of my closet. Amazon no longer carries the ones I bought, but this shoe organizer looks good according to the reviews.
- We installed wall to wall wire shelving in our pantry. This allowed for lots of light to filter through the shelves and also cut way down on how dusty the shelves could get.
- We bought these bamboo trays and now use them in three of our kitchen drawers so we have stopped having to rummage for everything we needed.
- We bought two magnetic knife strips from Harbor Freight (much cheaper than most on Amazon and designed for heavier objects). We installed one in our kitchen and also one over the range in our camper.
- Last Christmas I ordered these organizing hooks for my car and put them in my own stocking. I use them for countless things including my purse. Just love them!
We are still working on ways to organize and simplify our home and our lives. I have found that as our children get older it gets much easier, but I believe it is a process that’s never really completed. Luckily, I really enjoy streamlining and organizing, so this is not a problem for me.
Remember that you are the captain of your ship and life is a journey that we only take once. Don’t allow the precious minutes of your life to be spent on meaningless tasks and busy work. Live your life intentionally instead of blindly being lead around by circumstances.
Do Something Today That Your Future Self Will Thank You For
Americans have a perception problem. In fact, Americans have SO MANY perception problems that you are probably considering which one I mean.
Here is the one I mean: happiness. It does not come with a new job, house, car or vacation. It also doesn’t come with having more stuff than your family/friends/neighbors. And it doesn’t matter how many reality shows or Instagram posts tell you so.
I could say that I was a bird 200 times a day, but that simply won’t make it happen.
One of the strangest things about this is the news. Media outlets of all types seem to push this mentality with their attempt to grab your attention with headlines. Since when did this sort of thing become news? And lifestyle sections….don’t get me started. Who cares what dress someone wore to an awards ceremony when there are hurricanes and starving people on this planet?
We think we know what will bring us happiness. Most of us are wrong.
It is a perception thing. We have been taught to achieve and acquire. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with either of those things – as long as the pursuit of them doesn’t get in the way of being happy.
The recipe for a happy life (in my opinion) can be summed up with the following bits:
- having friends & family we love and who love us
- enjoying freedom in life to do what we love
- being financially secure (out of debt and with savings) to sleep well at night
- feeling as healthy as possible
Most of us would agree with the above list in theory, but it can be difficult to implement in your life. There are two books that helped me to drastically change my perceptions about money and success. I love these books so much that I reread them often. I find these keep me grounded and my head clear.
Here they are: The Millionaire Next Door and The Millionaire Mind. I recommend reading the Millionaire Mind first. It contains more of the straight forward information. The Millionaire Mind builds on those concepts and give more statistical information. Both are incredibly interesting if you are into money, human behavior, or any combination of the two.
These books deal mostly with money, but also touch on the other things that make life worth living. The millionaires are not always who you think they are. They are usually hiding in plain site. This book proves it.
People want to take control of their finances and their lives again. This is a good place to start. If we can switch over to a saving mentality instead of a spending mentality, that is the biggest step. Everything after that is easier. And I have never found a better tool to motivate me to change gears more than these two books. It’s difficult to dispute the numbers when they are in front of you.
Happiness is right around the corner waiting for you. Today is a great day to go after it.
“Do Something Today That Your Future Self Will Thank You For”