What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew Is Truly Not a Secret!
It’s not even a book of secrets…….
So I am sitting here on this wonderful Tuesday night feeling particularly insightful and I just decided it was time to write this article.
Everybody knows that males and females are different, right? Women are both celebrated and vilified by guys. You think we are soft, alluring, intoxicating, and sometimes scary. (Want to clear any room full of guys? Just put one crying girl in there!)
I was watching a video clip on YouTube the other day (see below) where John Rzeznik (lead singer of Goo Goo Dolls in case you don’t know – I’m a huge fan) made a comment about having a girlfriend but that she could “turn into a b**** at any moment” because women are “unpredictable” among other things. See? Even guys of that caliber have issues figuring out girls.
My own husband says I am unpredictable – which both excites and terrifies him. I call that entertaining, but he doesn’t think that’s nearly as funny as I do. But I digress…..
It is what it is, and you guys are not always a piece of cake to live with either. (Just thought I would throw that little fact in.)
We Are From That Other Planet (The Mysterious One)
Can you imagine how boring your life would be if we were JUST LIKE YOU? Some guys complain constantly about their wives/girlfriends, but how much fun would it be to live with a clone of yourself? Now, I am not saying that all guys are disorganized and smelly (I know a few who are neat freaks), but a house becomes a home when you put a female in it.
Back in my single days I had a guy friend who used to say he loved coming over because we (my roommate and I) always had candles burning and things were always cozy at our place. Looking back now, I can see it probably didn’t hurt that not one, but two females lived there too.
And let’s face it, your burping, bragging buddies get old after awhile and you want a totally different kind of companionship. I am not just referring to sex here, either. And you know that even though you like to joke about our monthly problems and other foreign matters that you don’t understand, you secretly revel in the fact that you know our most personal tidbits and are intimately involved in our mysterious world.
So here’s what you really need to know about us:
1. We Don’t Need To Be Fixed (So Please Shut Up While We Cry)
I realize you are a man and it’s your job to fix things, but please stick to changing light bulbs and killing spiders. Sometimes we just need to cry it all out and there’s nothing you can do about it, no matter how hard you try. When we are ready for your suggestions we will ask for them, and don’t worry because that time WILL come. Until then, we just need a big shoulder to cry on.
2. Our Ability To Turn Into a B**** At Any Moment Is Totally Relative To Your Mouth Opening and Things Coming Out of It
Now, I realize that you are not the cause of everything that goes wrong in our lives, but men have a way of rubbing salt into any wound we might have. There are many things that men can do that make us want to morph into those scary creatures you are afraid of, but here’s the worst one. You don’t listen to us and then try to cover it up. (^%^$%#$%@$#!$#@#$)!!!! That’s us saying bad words because we are SO frustrated when that happens for the millionth time! Just admit you weren’t listening and let’s try it again. Then please make an attempt to pay attention the next time.
3. Cavemen Are Sexy
Well, certain aspects of it anyway. With very few exceptions, women want to feel protected. Even those who act like they don’t usually do deep down inside, they just don’t want to admit it. Enter the caveman. He was tough, he had tunnel vision, and it was usually on getting what he wanted and needed for survival. So we like the fact that you get snorting mad if someone looks at us – in your eyes we are important and worth protecting.
So if you choose a night with us over a night with your buddies, you are really saying to us “I need you more than my friends” which also means “Because I need you, I will protect you”. (Can you see yourself swinging a huge club? Not the golf kind.)
Now, there are some girls who don’t like violence of any kind. But I am from the South where the girls are delicate and the guys are tough, so I really like the fact that my husband would beat anybody up for me. He doesn’t have to actually DO IT to make me happy, just the fact that he’s willing is enough for me!
4. Holding Our Purse Proves Your Love For Us
Actually, this proves that you value our opinion of you over the opinions of others. But this, in turn, proves that you love us. Every girl wants a guy who will make a fool of himself for her. There’s nothing like having a really tough guy be a total teddy bear for you.
5. If You Want Sex Later, You Will Listen Now
Intimacy is a totally different thing to girls and guys. If you want to have a healthy sex life, then you need to have a healthy relationship in every other way. Sorry, guys, but that’s how it works for girls. If you are being a jerk, WE ARE NOT EVEN ATTRACTED TO YOU! Literally. And what is the biggest way that guys are usually jerks to girls? You got it – not listening. It is SO frustrating to spend your time and energy telling a guy something that’s important only to find that he didn’t listen to one word of it!!!
6. You Don’t Have To Give Us the Moon
I know that male egos are something that guys have to carry around your whole lives. Your entire existence in one big peeing contest. I get that. A guy friend recently told me that guys are always wondering if they are “good enough” and that obviously includes how much you can give your girl. However, girls are a lot more forgiving than you probably think. We love you because you hold our hair out of the toilet when we are sick and because you make up sweet pet names for us. The smallest things you do are usually what matters most to us. Time and attention are what we need the most. That costs nothing but makes the biggest impact in our lives. It also shapes our feelings about you more than anything you could ever buy for us.
So to sum it up, what wives wish their husbands knew is this: we need your time, attention, and devotion. But I bet you already knew that deep down inside, right? Don’t treat her the way you want to be treated. She’s from Venus, not Mars.
There you have it – insight into the female mind. Thanks for visiting our world, please return often!
If you will do the things above, you will get the following things in return: our undying love, devotion, and admiration. In short, you will be our heroes! Isn’t that what your male ego needs to begin with?
Here are two resources to help you make your wife extremely happy:
If you are having relationship issues and need a plan to keep your relationship from failing, please visit The Magic of Making Up.
Ever wish marriage came with a manual? If only life could be so easy! Most men could use a husband guide to with give exact instructions to get them from Point A to Point B. You know, one hundred and one husband tips for an incredible marriage. But alas….God finds humor in wiring men and women differently, but aren’t we glad he does? Just think how boring life could be without our differences. Anyway, your wife does not expect you to be perfect, but she does want you to at least try. It’s not a hard as it might sound, and she’s worth it, right? So here’s some pointers to help. Let’s cover the basics first:
Show her that you love her (This IS different than Number 1.)
Respect her in private and in public
Make time for her
Apologize when you are wrong
Put her above everything except God (if you are a believer)
Go to church with her (if she likes to go)
Talk and listen to her
Do little romantic things for her
Got that covered? Now, let’s talk about other things that you can do. I have been married for close to 14 years and have two adorable little boys, so I have some wisdom I can share with you guys. You are not lost, here is where you start…..
1. You Are Probably Not Off Track As Much As You Might Think.
You deserve a good ole pat on the back. You have already made some good choices along the way. First, you were innovative enough to find the woman of your dreams, then you were savvy enough to marry her. Second, you made the life-changing choice to marry that woman. Third, you love her (and yourself) enough to find information to make your marriage the best it can be. (There is always room for improvement, no matter what.)
Next, all you need to do is make a few small changes and you will see some spectacular changes in your marriage.
2. Consider Telling Your Wife That You Are Making Some Changes.
Honesty will usually get you far and sometimes it is best to come right out and tell your wife that you are trying to improve your marriage. When you tell her what you are working on she might even give you some ideas. Each wife is different but she might provide you with some specific ideas on things that need some improvement.
3. Start With Little Things.
Making changes can sometimes be difficult and even more difficult to maintain over time. That is why you shoud aim for no more than one change per week. If this seems daunting to you, then go for one change every two weeks instead. It is important for you to have a plan that you can stick to. A husband guide is only useful if you are able to follow it.
4. Spend At Least 20 Minutes Each Day Giving Her Your Complete Attention.
You are probably thinking that is not much time, but it may be more quality time than you are spending together now. Set aside the time just after you get home each day or right before bedtime. It can be hard to establish this habit, but the importance of this step in improving your marriage can not be overstated.
5. Make a Short List of Things You Do That Annoy Her.
Be honest with yourself. You know the things you do that make her crazy. Maybe you do not close the kitchen cabinet doors. (Some of us short girls get bumped in the head from that, you know?) Do you leave the lid off the toothpaste? Could it be that you forget your anniversary every year? Is you mother’s birthday more important to you than your wife’s? You must be honest with yourself or you will not know what to fix. These husband tips only work if you use them.
6. Take Charge – You Are the Boss of You!
Attack that list of annoying things. It is important to write this all down. Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. Now list the behaviors on one side and the action you will take to fix the problem on the other side. Implement one thing each week. This step goes a long, long way. It is sort of like your own personalized husband guide. This is NOT difficult. You are the boss of you and you simply must decide that your marriage and her happiness is worth the time and effort. It pays off big in the end, trust me.
7. Now Fix the Really Big Things.
Honestly, some things take more time and effort to overcome. If you and your wife have undergone a huge hurt in your marriage, then outside counseling might be needed. Real men take charge and make real steps to fix problems in their home and marriage. There are lots of places to get free counseling out there, especially in churches. Try one and see what happens. If a particular counselor does not seem right for you, go find another one. Don’t give up.
8. Love Her – and Show It To Everyone.
Here’s how to make her truly happy. Don’t just tell her you love her, show her too. Do it in huge ways that shows everyone around you that you love her completely. You want to feel loved, respected, and cherished, right? So does your wife. Engulf her with love in so many ways that she is mesmerized. Think that will not make an impact on her? So how do you do that? Pack a great picnic and candle and surprise her at work. Just eat it at her desk if necessary. Or just go to her break room, does not matter. Bring her a flower everyday for a week (or a month). Place notes for her everywhere in the house or at her work. Send or drop off small presents for her at work. Rent a large billboard and say “happy birthday” to her. Place an add in the newspaper. Say lovely things about her on your Facebook page. Always show love and adoration for her in front of all your friends and family. Lots of hugs and kisses with some special compliments help do the trick. You want the world to know how great you think she is.
The Last Step Is: Get To Work Today.
Little things make a big impact, so it will not take long to start enjoying the benefits of your efforts. The changes will be huge and you will soon want to do more things for her. Too many spouses are only willing to put in their 50 percent of effort into their marriages. If you don’t keep score and just make a commitment to put in 100 percent yourself, you will probably find your wife starting to put in 100 percent too. Hope these husband tips will kick off a new phase in your marriage. May your life and marriage be peaceful and harmonious. Be an amazing husband that makes your wife swoon! If your relationship is in trouble, get a step by step plan to turn it around at The Magic of Making Up.
Every man wants to know to be the best husband you can be, but sometimes life just gets in the way.
You have had a stressful day. Your back aches, you have been in gridlock traffic for an hour, and your best client dumped you. You cannot wait to get home, read the paper and kick back in the recliner.
Then it happens. She meets you at the door and immediately starts giving you a rundown of her entire day – how she was late for work, where she ate lunch, how her hairdresser cut her hair too short. You are so exhausted that you completely ZONE OUT…..
You do not want to have this conversation, or any other conversation for that matter. You wish she would take the hint and stop bothering you with it for now. You start thinking about who you will invite over to watch the big game this weekend…..then it happens. The look on her face tells you that she is waiting for an answer to something. What did she just ask you? Should you ask her to repeat it? That sure did not go well that last time you tried it. Yep, you are in trouble. She knows you were not listening and there is no way out of it.
How NOT To Be In the Doghouse…..
Here is your best move. Admit the obvious – you were not listening – and ask for forgiveness. Try to do better the next time. She will respect your honesty and for taking responsibility for your actions.
You were probably expecting a different response, but let’s assess the situation.
When the day comes that she does not tell about her daily life, buddy, you are in some serious trouble.
It is her prerogative to include you in her life, even the little details. When the day arrives that she is not interested in telling you about her daily activities, she is not interested in YOU.
But here is the one thing about women that you might not realize: The number one thing they need from you is ATTENTION. And it naturally takes time to give that attention.
What you need is a plan. Set aside 10 minutes every day to talk, I mean REALLY talk. You need to decide if you need 10 minutes to unwind first or if you want to give her the first 10 minutes when you walk through the door. If you always give her the time, she will respect your need to unwind first.
This should not be a chore. Have a glass of sweet tea (I’m from the South) or coffee. Turn off the TV, cell phones, etc. and try to eliminate all distractions. After you have done this for a while you will find yourself looking forward to that time too.
This is a simple step that you improve your marriage no matter how good it is to begin with. Most all women want to be treated like a princess, and admit it – deep down men really want to be a hero. Both things can be accomplished here. Little moves to pamper her like this will leave her feeling like a princess and will definitely give you hero status with her. Try it for a month and see the changes for yourself.
For a more husband tips and a more comprehensive guide for husbands, please see the Free Husband Guide.
If your marriage is in trouble, get this step by step plan to be the best husband you can be and turn your marriage around immediately at The Magic of Making Up.
However, if you just want a few pointers to bring you closer, then please go to 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships. This comprehensive resource will bring joy to your relationship and life.
I have given a fair amount of thought to this question and I this is what I came up with:
Love is knowing someone’s faults and forgiving them for those faults.
Now, I know this sounds a little simplistic, but stick with me here.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest emotions for humans to conjure up. For some of us, it is nearly impossible. In order to forgive someone for something we must make ourselves vulnerable and be willing to take a chance on someone. After all, that person could do that thing again that hurt/annoyed/angered/embarrassed us.
The deepest level of love constitutes that we forgive that person for not being perfect. I know this last sentence makes it all sound extremely simple, but humans are not simple creatures and sometimes it FEELS harder than it SOUNDS.
When I write about love in this instance, it could apply to any type of love for any person. It could be a family member or a friend. Must you forgive a person for their faults in order to love them? Not necessarily. But in order to truly love them on the deepest level possible you absolutely must forgive them. (Think of unforgiveness as a fence that you can see over but not quite climb over. Therefore, it is always blocking you to some degree.)
So the next time your spouse (or other person) doesn’t something that upsets you, try to shift your thinking away from the thing that upsets you. Instead try to focus on all the things he or she does that are RIGHT. Over time your feelings about that person will shift and you will learn to forgive him or her for not being perfect.
Then you will be entering the realm of the truest kind of love. ❤
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Google is an ever changing thing. That’s a nice way of putting it.
Google constantly changes the way it ranks sites on the Internet. You see, it sends out these little bots to “crawl” every site it can find. Then it uses the information it finds to rank each site. This determines whether your site comes up at number 1 in the search returns or 1 million. (Hint: NOBODY want their site to be listed as number 1 million.)
Why is this important?
Well, when you search for something on the Internet, do often do you look at the second, third, fourth, or fiftieth page of search results? Never….right?
No website or blog owner wants to spend hours researching and writing material if no one will ever see it, so it’s important to keep your website showing up high in the search results.
So this is the reason I must delete all comments on this blog.
Actually, there are two reasons.
First, when people comment on my blog they often leave a link to their site. This is perfectly fine. I often do that on other people’s sites myself. But here is the problem: If they later delete that site or change anything about that page of their site, then it is a “broken link” that goes no where. If that link is still listed on my site, then Google will penalize my site.
Doesn’t sound fair? Well, it sort of isn’t. But that’s how it works.
Second, even if a person links to a site that is still up and running, Google will still penalize me if it doesn’t “like” that site.
Yep, that’s right.
Why Must I Delete Everything Now?
Well, I have been preoccupied with other projects lately and have let this site suffer. I have not been on top of things and my ranking has slipped. It would literally take hours to go through the mountains of comments that I have approved over the years, so it would be much easier to just delete all the comments.
Anyone who has ever been a webmaster knows that it takes hours to sift through all the incoming comments for a website or blog. Although I have a plug in that helps cut down the time, it is still a huge job. I just don’t have the time or energy to go through all of these comments a second time.
To anyone who has posted a legitimate comment that did not link to anything “bad” I offer my sincere apologies.
Being a parent can often feel like being on a never-ending treadmill. Get out of bed, get ready for school, drop off kids, pick up kids, do homework, pack lunches, take bath, go to bed, get out of bed…….
Oh, did I forget to mention after school activities, and sometimes even before school activities?
What happened to all the family time? And while we are talking about it, what happened to all the “you” time?
Being a parent can be down right overwhelming these days, especially when you add on jobs and other commitments.
And single parents? I don’t even know how you do it. Seriously, hats off to you, because you are INCREDIBLE!
But everyone could use a few time saving tips, no matter what your situation might be. So here I am listing a few things that work for us. This is not rocket science, but every little bit helps, right?
1. Prepackage Teddy Grahams, Pretzels, Goldfish, Etc. For Lunches & Snacks
I usually don’t buy the overpriced, prepackaged versions of these items, but instead I buy snack bags and do it myself. It literally takes just minutes, but it saves lots of money and keeps down the clutter in my pantry. (Some of those prepackaged boxes are huge.) I have my boys help prepare the bags of goodies. We keep a variety of items to choose from, so when it’s time to pack lunches and snacks the boys just grab whatever item they want.
2. Wash All Fruits and Veggies When You Bring Them In The House
When we bring in groceries I wash all fruits and veggies immediately. This means no washing of individual items when it’s time to pack lunches, but it also means my family eats more healthy foods because all fruits and veggies are already washed and ready to eat when they want a snack at home too.
3. Choose Clothes the Night Before
It’s amazing how much time this saves me in the mornings. After I put my boys in the shower in the morning I am free to start breakfast, finish getting myself ready, etc. because their clothes are already chosen and ready for them to put on. The time it takes for them to shower, dry off and dress gives me those extra few minutes to keep my morning from feeling like a circus.
4. Keep Homework Supplies In the Car
This one really helps me keep it together. After a long day at work all I want to do it go home and chill for a while. I DO NOT want to come home and start doing homework. So we have put clipboards, pencils, and extra paper in our vehicle to be used for homework on the way home from school. It is surprising how much homework my boys can do in those few minutes. They often have it ready for me to check by the time we get home. This is also great for days when we have appointments and don’t go straight home from school.
5. Have Everyone Carry In Everything From Your Vehicle Every Time You Get Home
I hate a cluttered up car as much as I hate a cluttered up home, so each time we arrive home I make everyone in the car carry in everything that belongs to them. Every time. Without fail. This keeps me from spending my weekends cleaning out my car. If my boys fail to do this, they will be called back outside to complete the task because I want it to be a habit for them. (Cleanliness is a habit, you know.)
So there you have it. Some of my best time saving tips for parents. Hope you will find these useful.
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