Some couples seem to have a secret magic trick when it comes to keeping the spark alive in their relationship.
You know those couples – the ones who snuggle up to each other constantly, even though they have been married for fifteen years.
How can they be like that after all those years? What’s their secret?
The answer is actually quite easy.
They value their relationship.
Okay, so I know that’s not really a secret, but think about it…..
We put effort into things we value, right? So where do you put most of your effort? Take a good, long look at your life and it will be obvious to you.
Find where your effort goes and you will also find where your desire goes as well. It could be work, friends, a certain hobby, etc.
Maybe you have been neglecting your relationship, but then maybe you didn’t even realize it. Most people don’t.
Today is a great day to do something about it. I am providing a checklist of a few things you can do to get started. I also suggest you immediately start 30 Days of Gratitude. It costs absolutely nothing, but the results cannot be bought with any amount of money.
So here’s the list to get you started:
1. Make an effort to use an extra nice tone of voice with your partner.
2. Use extra manners with your partner. They should be getting the best of you. Always say “please” and “thank you” to them.
3. Tell your partner you love them at least once each day. This can be a text, a note, or any other way. But be sure to say it to them out loud at least once each week.
4. Be sure to have more physical contact with your partner. Hugging, holding hands, and kissing increase our attachment to each other and release the hormones in our brains that make us feel happy and safe. (That’s good for our overall health.)
5. Schedule regular dates with your partner. Once a week is optimal, but if you have children you may need to do once a month or once every two weeks.
You may be thinking, “We go out all the time.” But my question is this: Is is REALLY a date?
You take extra time to get ready for a date. Your guy might bring you flowers. He always holds the door for you. All your time and attention is focused on your partner when you are on a date. You go somewhere romantic on a real date. See where I am going with this?
How to keep a relationship alive is not rocket science. Time and effort will get you 99.9% of the way.
Okay, so start planning yourself a hot date right now!
Stress and Infertility
Even if this does not apply to you, you probably know someone it does apply to.
Nothing can drive a wedge between two monogamous people quicker than infertility.
When intimacy turns into a chore, it’s very difficult to keep the warm, fuzzy feelings alive.
We were fortunate enough to conceive the first month with both of our children, but even my husband was feeling the pressure.
It is difficult for me to image couples who continue on that regimen for months and even years.
I know that being unable to conceive (or worse, conceiving but being unable to carry to term) can stress out anyone.
I know many couples that have faced both of those situations.
However, the best medicine for fertility seems to be relaxation.
I know at least two couples that finally conceived a child and carried it to term after they had already adopted a child and given up on having their own natural child.
With that being said, I am currently looking into a program called Pregnancy Miracle that is designed to help couples conceive a child.
If you are currently encountering difficulties trying to have a child, it might be worth checking out.
When was the last time you did something really nice for your mate for absolutely no reason at all?
Why don’t you give your partner a back massage tonight? Or fix dinner when it’s not your turn? Or clean his/her car inside and out?
Go do that one little thing for him or her that you know they will love. You know what it is.
Maybe my husband will bring me a red velvet cupcake from my favorite bakery today. That’s my little thing.
I don’t know how many calories are in those things and I hope no one ever tells me!
Always love like there’s no tomorrow!
Until me meet again…..