Communication In Relationships

Commication In RelationshipsCommunication makes the world go round. (You probably thought it was sex or money, right?) But think about it. These things couldn’t be obtained or used without some form of communication. And communication definitely makes your relationship go round, or not go round, depending on how things are for you right now.

Communication in relationships can be a tricky thing. You may have one thing coming out of your mouth, but a completely different message may be oozing from your body language and facial expressions.This is the main reason why you must speak to your partner when you are calm. Any hostile expression or movement on your part will result in defensiveness from your partner. This includes his or her perception of hostility….even if you didn’t mean it that way.

What to do if you are angry…..

1. Sit down and lean back comfortably in your seat.

Resist the urge to scoot up on the edge of your chair and lean forward. This reflects calmness on your part, which will usually promote calmness in your partner.

2. Fold you hands loosely in your lap.

This keeps you from pointing and gesturing in ways that might escalate the situation. It also gives you something to focus on (the act of keeping your hands still) and that will help NOT get angry.

3. Speak slowly in an even tone without getting too loud.

Nobody likes to be yelled at, right? And when you speak slowly it allows to better choose your words, which keeps you from blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

3. When all else fails, revert back to my favorite stand by – write a letter.

This is self explanatory. Put it down on paper so you can’t get too upset and your partner get tune you out.

4. Try a little empathy for the other person’s side of things.

Really put yourself in their shoes for just a moment and see how things look for him or her. You might just see that some of your actions look different to your partner than what you intended.

I always knew my mother could have gotten a better reaction out of my father with a little more empathy (and plain kindness), but after I received a degree in psychology I saw things even more clearly. Disagreements are not always bad. They can be opportunities to understand your partner better. In fact, they can be a chance to grow even closer when you learn to work out your issues with kindness. It all depends on your attitude (and your partner’s attitude) going into the disagreement.

What to do if you don’t feel like your partner is listening…..

1. Get his or her attention in any way possible.

If you have tried everything imaginable and you are not getting any “real” attention when you try to have a conversation with your partner, then try this: 30 Days of Gratitude. I prescribe this for lots of different issues because it works. Just click here to see how this completely free little technique can turn things around for you. (And, guys, don’t blow this off before you try it. Your girl will LOVE IT!)

2. Now that you have their attention really surprise them by inviting them to talk first.

Yes, you read that right. Once they have the opportunity to speak their mind first and you listen sympathetically, then they will be more willing to return the favor when it’s your turn to talk (it’s a little bit of subtle reverse psychology without them knowing it). You might begin by saying something like, “Tell me some things you like about our relationship and some things that you don’t especially like?” This is a very open ended question that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” so it gives a wide range of possibilities for the conversation. And, ladies, if you are trying to dig information out of your guy you are not making them talk about their “feelings” exactly, which can sometimes send men into lock down mode. (Notice I didn’t say “how do you feel about our relationship”? Small nuances like that are important.)

3. Be nice.

That one is really simple. If you ever get them started really listening to you, don’t use it as time to list every fault they have. Pick and issue that is bothering you, then tell them about it. Let’s say you are always asking your husband to help with the laundry and it turns into an argument almost every time. Start by saying something like, “What do you think we could to change our situation with the laundry?” First off all, you are asking to discuss the solution, not the problem. You don’t sound like you are cruising for an an argument. You are neutral and looking for peaceful solutions. At this point be ready to listen to any and all suggestions. Make it easy for him to talk to you. Remember to stay calm and have calm body language and facial expressions. Be might be surprised as to how well this can work.  When you work out a system that you both want to try, be sure to hug and kiss him and thank him for working out something for you both to try. Do it with a smile. This gratitude will make him want to work out the next problem in a similar manner because he will want the happy solution at the end.

Communication in relationships is NOT the scary thing that people think it is! Courtesy, manners, and plain kindness will get you a long way.

Remember, always love like there’s no tomorrow!

See you next time!

1000 Questions For Couples: How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

1000 Questions For Couples

1000 Questions For Couples

How Well Do You Know Your Partner? This is an ago old question that most individuals have asked themselves at some point in their lives. No matter what we like to think, your partner has thoughts and feelings that you know nothing about.

How would you like to open up the lines of communication and share EVERYTHING?

No matter how close your relationship happens to be, there is always room for improvement.

Your mate may have hopes and dreams that are hidden deep inside that you could never imagine. Maybe your partner doesn’t feel comfortable sharing these thoughts with you. And maybe you don’t feel comfortable sharing either. This does not make you a “bad” couple. It just means you are like the average couple out there.

First, let me be clear. This IS NOT a bad reflection on you. It is what it is. You can’t dig information out of a person if they don’t want to share it with you…..or can you?

Communication In Relationships

Most couples never get to know each other on the deep, intimate level that they could. People are afraid of being vulnerable. They are afraid of rejection. That is the bottom line.

There is often a feeling of, “I won’t share if you won’t share too.” This is completely understandable. And it’s human nature.

A person must be in a situation that feels safe and secure before they are willing to open up and divulge privileged information about themselves. If you want your partner to share with you, then you MUST create an environment that promotes that.

Not so long ago society seemed to pressure individuals to air all their thoughts and feelings to any and every one (Oprah, Phil Donahue, Sally Jesse Raphael, and now Dr. Phil). However, that medium of telling the world your deepest, darkest secrets has now been largely replaced by this new thing called the reality show.

But what do we see time after time? People air their deepest thoughts and feelings on television and are later crucified for their honesty.

The these that’s passed along to other people is: Don’t share it if you don’t have to.

Your partner, and maybe even you, have the same fears.

What if I tell this person everything I have inside and then:

a. They laugh at me

b. They don’t understand me

c. They later leave or divorce me and take that information with them

The Real Truth 1000 Questions For Couples

What people fail to realize is that if they actually SHARE everything, it greatly cuts the odds that the relationship will end.

Communication problems in relationships are one of the most common causes for divorce and break ups. (In my opinion, most every other problems stems from lack of communication in relationships.)

1000 Questions For Couples (renowned author Michael Webb of Oprah Winfrey show fame) is a comprehensive tool to bullet proof your relationship or marriage by utilizing love questions that dig deep and really allow you to know the person you love. Because the communication goes both ways, your partner will become more comfortable sharing their inner most thoughts because you will feel comfortable sharing as well.

Marriages and relationships CAN last for 50 years or more. Knowing each other on a very basic, intimate level is the key. You could search the internet for weeks and never put together a collection of questions to compare to this list.

Here are the topics the 1000 questions are divided into:

Personality, Feelings & Emotions
Favorites
Pets
Attractions
Health, Food & Well Being
Vacations
Morals, Convictions and Beliefs
Religion & Spiritual Matters
Car & Driver Holidays & Celebrations
Home & Home Life
Past & Future
Hobbies & Entertainment
Love, Romance & Date Nights
Friends & Family
Communication
Career and Education
Money
Relationships – Past & Present
Children & Child Rearing
Wedding & Honeymoon
Sex

1000 Questions For CouplesThis author of this book, an established author that has been featured by countless television shows and magazines, is now offering two free tools as bonuses to help you have the healthiest relationship of you life.

Follow this link to learn about the free bonuses you can download right now when you purchase 1000 Questions For Couples. This communication guide is not available in stores, so get your copy here.

In addition to the three bonuses Micheal Webb gives you when you purchase this ebook, I am also adding ANOTHER BONUS!

*******Click Here For 1000 Questions For Couples Bonus!*******

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p.s. If you would like to get more free information to help you communicate with your partner, please visit WifeGuide.net or HusbandGuide.net.

by Angela Christian Pope @ ModernRelationship.org